MUSICAL MOTTO:
"laughed the man, to the limits of shame
little girl having a whole life ahead
To preserve the memory of a kindly word
remain among the beasts Time for one more daring dream Before her escape
, zgasimy ray Paradise
Her own loving heart "
Nightwish," Eva "
(trans. Maestro - Tekstowo.pl)
Veronica, aged 20, Malopolska
I personally know a girl who has experienced at first hand human baseness and cruelty. The girl in question is equal to 20 years old and lives in Malopolska. In this article, I'll call her Veronica, though it bears a completely different name. 20-year-old has experienced many times in your life, physical and psychological violence, manifested in many ways. Acquired by the belief that naive, positive outlook may collapse, and life is just brutal. But it is not life is brutal, but man. As Sophie wrote Nalkowska: "This people to people dealt this fate."
"In the face of pain, no heroes,"
My friend, with whom I talk to both in the real world and the Internet, does not like to talk about his experiences, he considers this to be scrambling old wounds and re-experiencing your own misfortune. For me, however, made an exception and he sent me in my dark, secret duty of the soul. Veronica does not want to give your real name, because her story is very personal. He also claims that the painful experience that is not reason to boast or to make of himself a hero. When I explain a 20-patch one of my favorite quotes, the words "In the face of pain, no heroes," George Orwell, she agreed with him. They are annoyances in life, at which a person "sag" - even if you have previously claimed to be courageous and indomitable. Veronica says that it could "certify own blood. "
What happened to Veronica?
My friend told me about how tormented her by the hair, as it pushed against the wall, and pushes her on the stairs, and kicked her and her things like her Pluto, as it was beaten, as were thrown at her various objects (eg, paper beads, pieces of food, pieces of eraser, pen, or pieces of empty, plastic bottles), and tipped her head remnants of potato chips, jerky as it kept the book, as it gryziono, as it poured some into a bag abomination, as photographed her without asking for permission, illegally placed her photo on the Internet and touched her against her will, as preview them in the toilet, as threatened with beatings and burning of hair, as it prevented eating how życzono her death, kradziono as its intellectual property, and forced her to change her environment, as it challenges, insults (including the internet) and ridiculed by foreign persons, as it imputes a different acts of false witnesses and searched for evidence of these slanders, as it was said openly that it is discriminated against, as criticized and rejected to achieve it, setting light to her leg as they shouted in her ear, as it purged, as outraged by her family, and approached very close to her to scare her, as for the same purpose it surrounded, as obgadywano it in such a way that is heard ...
difficult to prove mental abuse!
Veronica points out that more often than physical violence experienced psychological violence. This in turn is - for obvious reasons - difficult to describe and prove, which is usually the perpetrators of the harassment can not be punished. 20-year-old recalls various experiences with their lives, for example, how in the autumn and winter buried her jacket and shoes, which she could not get dressed and go home. Then she was afraid that her clothing could have been stolen, but later she found her things in strange and hard to reach places. No matter where it all happened. Land that has happened really ... although you should not. Land that has a very long time and was perceived by outsiders.
loss of moral innocence
experiments, which met Veronica, may be called variously subject experts are probably not the appropriate term. Sam 20-year-old calls it torture, just as claims that they have led to fracture of the psyche. She says that the worst was her breakthrough year in 2008 and 2009. That's when aggression was the largest of its persecutors, and her nerves - the most strained. In this period of crisis plagued Veronica suicidal thoughts. Moreover, not only suicidal, but also a morbid desire for revenge, a dream that the meanness of its enemies quickly returned to them. Girl convinced to hard way that suffering ennobles not only kills a man "moral innocence" (love of neighbor, faith in goodness, hope for a better tomorrow, the joy of life, kindness and patience.)
fear, despair and sudden deliverance
20-year-old declares that ever walked on her head thought how for people unfamiliar with violence and ill-treatment may be called. a fairy tale about an iron wolf. Well, sometimes the most difficult times of her to think that if her tormentor dead, it would stop it torment. As if this were not enough, the girl suffered from chronic insomnia - often could not sleep for fear of the day tomorrow. She was afraid not so much of their tormentors, because those people were primitive and foolish as this, what else could they fall to the head. While Veronica was looking for help from appropriate people, but they proved to be completely helpless. Once heard, even from the teacher, in her case that nothing can be done. When my friend was 18 years, her life was a breakthrough that was interrupted by her ordeal. Girl freed from their oppressors, but not from the painful memories and trauma. These in turn are largely influenced the mentality and attitude in life.
Almost as Phantom of the Forefathers' Eve
Apparently my friend, despite her young age, she felt so tired, as if his life was behind him. And just entered adulthood, preparing for a new, extremely severe stage of existence! Veronica was afraid that if adult life is considered to be much more brutal than teenage, is in the future, just waiting for her psychic pain, fear, humiliation and anger - a thousand times cruel to those who have passed. For fear of further pain, she wanted to kill himself, but eventually abandoned that idea and decided to start all over again. My friend says that it was a time when the living body, although they have felt dead inside. He maintains that if it were to present himself at the time, it zilustrowałaby myself as a living corpse, someone in the style of The Phantom of the fourth-Gustav the "Forefathers" by Adam Mickiewicz. That he felt burned and destroyed by heartless people.
Time heals, but scars
now 20-year-old normal lives, studying and implementing his hobby. He says, however, that most probably it will never be able to recover that which it received: serenity and trust in people. Veronica compares himself to a porcelain doll, which was broken into small pieces and then stuck together with strong glue. But this is not the same doll, but its reconstruction, including indelible traces of the old break. Time heals, but scars. You can change the environment, find themselves a passion to see the world more optimistically, but part of a history of trauma certainly remain in us. It's like the pre-cut clothing. Can sew up the hole, but - the seams - there is no denying that these holes were used. And this is the most terrible in what my friend called psychological torture. Harassment is not a momentary pain, which disappears as quickly as it appeared. It is the burning of the human soul lasting stigma.
Better to die than to surrender!
According to Veronica, a man who experienced what it is, initially fighting with their enemies. Then, no longer fights with them, but with himself not to lose the dignity and humble ourselves against torturers. According to the girl, you better bite the bullet and to suffer than to lose honor for the sake of peace. And when it really falls to the forces, when he loses the ability of the abolition of suffering, it is better to commit suicide than kneel before the persecutors. I think we can and should be granted the right. If I were in her place, and probably myślałabym postępowałabym similarly.
Nobody would just not want ...
I do not know, however, whether zniosłabym so much humiliation and annoyance from other people. Probably not, I am mentally weak and fearful, like a hare. Veronica terribly sorry for what life has gone and what else could meet her. Not one of the most vulnerable people in the world, but when it kicks into a situation of my friend, her bitterness becomes my bitterness. I am convinced that nobody would want to experience anything like it. Maybe for people who have never experienced violence and abuse, a description of the ordeal is Veronica banal and trivial. Interestingly, however, whether these people myślałyby the same if found in the same situation? In fact, you never know what we do in our lives. The fact that today we are at the top, does not mean that tomorrow we can not be at the bottom. Even the ancients thought that the "fortune is fickle." In this paragraph it is also worth quoting the words of William Shakespeare's "making fun of his wounds, who knows no suffering."
Message to Readers
Veronica asked me to write this article because of people like it a lot. Among us are people who are humiliated, discriminated against, constantly ridiculed and intimidated, but we usually prefer not to notice. We believe that as the mental wounds are not visible, it does not. But they are the owners and make great suffering. In extreme cases it is permanent, though invisible suffering of the victim leads to suicide. When an entity crushed the attempt on his life, society suddenly wakes up and begins to see the problem (if you remember 14-year-old Anya, gimnazjalistkę from Gdansk, who killed herself after he was treacherously humiliated by their peers?). Unfortunately, it is too late. Deceased person can not help you.
Natalia Julia Smith,
21-22 April 2011,
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